Competition
With an identical twin sister, life is a competition. Growing up, we have seen other twins take off in separate directions to make comparisons among one another more difficult for onlookers. However, it is always relevant among twins, you are always comparing each other no matter how different you are. Making note of differences is comparing. My sister and I took the same path. We did not want to deny one or the other opportunities just to make sure we were different. This had its positives and its flaws. My sister and I played the same sports, took the same classes, and had the same friends. We shared a car, room, and cell phone. Everything we did was compared. When you grow up answering questions about which one is smarter, better at sports, etc, it is hard not to compete with your sister. What we were soon to realize, was that we were comparing ourselves to each other more than the people around us were. Everything we measured ourselves by was more relevant to us than to everybody else. Our competition in everything we did hurt our relationship. Your main opponent in life was your roommate, family member, and mirror image. It took up until our senior year of high school to realize that competition should not be about who is better. We realized that goals should have the motive of being a better person for you and by your standards. Going to separate colleges allowed us to build a better relationship. Without consistencies, comparison is more difficult for others and us. Growing up as a twin in a competitive environment has had its positives in my life; it has shaped me as a person. I fight to be the best I can be; not for another person, but for me. My goals are set for me, not for others. Competition needs to be with you, and for you. Compete with yourself to be the best you can be. My sister and I found that putting our feelings into words helped with this realization. As thoughts were written out on paper, we found that our feelings were as similar as twin’s thoughts are expected to be. Coming to this mutual agreement about competition became official as it was written out. Our concrete idea of competition was clear and the savior of our close relationship as sisters and best friends. Language allowed us to communicate and to understand each other. Language allowed us to transform our relationship into a close, meaningful, fun, and noncompetitive harmony.
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Wow, this has some really great insight. Most people think of twins as soulmates and best friends, but few recognize the competitive factor, and I think you did a great job in describing that! Great job!
ReplyDeleteLarissa,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this post. I grew up the oldest child in a family of four. It's interesting to examine family dynamics. There's a little bit of competition between my brothers (one is 26 and one is 22). They both are artists--one draws comic books and the other recently graduated with a degree in video game design. It's cool to see them now collaborating on projects together. I see that you're interested in teaching high school English, what is your sister pursuing? I'm glad that language was a means of bringing the two of you together. The power of communication is strong.
Erika (from Writing in the Disciplines)
Like we talked about in class I really like this piece of writing! It really shows the dynamics of siblings! I totally feel the same way with my sister...even though we aren't twins I feel we go through a lot of the same things as you and your sister! I also found it way interesting just to find out you had a twin! It's very cool!! Awesome writing style, it's really fun, interesting and engaging! Great job!
ReplyDelete-Jessica
Wow thanks for sharing this story. I can't imagine what it must have been like for you two, especially being that you shared absolutely everything! You really give us a good picture. I sometimes wondered if twins struggled with competing, because I know that even my sisters and I have had to overcome competing with each other and we're not even twins!
ReplyDeleteI never realized being a twin was so rough. We grew up with full house and the Olson twins so it all just looked fun and glamorous I never realized it could be so trying. Thank you for sharing now my sister and I may just get along better!
ReplyDeleteLarissa,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your post about how the relationship between you and your sister has helped shaped the person you have become. It was cool to acknowledge that competition can definitely be detrimental to a relationship and even everything in life.
Larissa this is a great piece. I don't have any siblings, but I'm sure that in general they are very competitive and want their parents praise and approval. I am glad you came to the realization that it was ruining your relationship, and you were able to turn it around and value each other and yourselves more. Very encouraging!
ReplyDeleteLarissa I enjoyed reading this post! I only have an older brother and no sister so it was insightful for me to gain a perspective on not only the experience of having a sister, but also the experience of a twin. I admire how you two enjoy one another and do not compare similarities and differences in any way.
ReplyDelete