Memory Vignette

Competition

With an identical twin sister, life is a competition. Growing up, we have seen other twins take off in separate directions to make comparisons among one another more difficult for onlookers. However, it is always relevant among twins, you are always comparing each other no matter how different you are. Making note of differences is comparing. My sister and I took the same path. We did not want to deny one or the other opportunities just to make sure we were different. This had its positives and its flaws. My sister and I played the same sports, took the same classes, and had the same friends. We shared a car, room, and cell phone. Everything we did was compared. When you grow up answering questions about which one is smarter, better at sports, etc, it is hard not to compete with your sister. What we were soon to realize, was that we were comparing ourselves to each other more than the people around us were. Everything we measured ourselves by was more relevant to us than to everybody else. Our competition in everything we did hurt our relationship. Your main opponent in life was your roommate, family member, and mirror image. It took up until our senior year of high school to realize that competition should not be about who is better. We realized that goals should have the motive of being a better person for you and by your standards. Going to separate colleges allowed us to build a better relationship. Without consistencies, comparison is more difficult for others and us. Growing up as a twin in a competitive environment has had its positives in my life; it has shaped me as a person. I fight to be the best I can be; not for another person, but for me. My goals are set for me, not for others. Competition needs to be with you, and for you. Compete with yourself to be the best you can be. My sister and I found that putting our feelings into words helped with this realization. As thoughts were written out on paper, we found that our feelings were as similar as twin’s thoughts are expected to be. Coming to this mutual agreement about competition became official as it was written out. Our concrete idea of competition was clear and the savior of our close relationship as sisters and best friends. Language allowed us to communicate and to understand each other. Language allowed us to transform our relationship into a close, meaningful, fun, and noncompetitive harmony.